there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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