I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
