My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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