On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
