I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
