your thong is hanging out like whoa
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
