well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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