Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
