I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
