we have pet lesbian snakes
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
