Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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