I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
