Ambien. No doubt about it.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just found a bag of teeth...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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