You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I FOUND THE LEGS
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
