is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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