Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I just found a bag of teeth...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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