I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
