Acid is not a monday night drug
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
