i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
