I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
