I cannot find my penis.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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