I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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