please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
