Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
