Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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