VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
