yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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