he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
