Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
