Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
