4 words: hood of his car
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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