singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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