Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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