evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
