Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
