I just made out with a guy for $7.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
