I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
