I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
