just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
