Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
