I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
