who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
