I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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