it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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