Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
