what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
don't judge my taste in strippers
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
