Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
