Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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