At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
