We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It's just like the Real World with babies
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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