What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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