Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
It's Friday. Sex?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
